I have this inexplicably contrary urge to avoid the things I’m drawn to – to the point that I sometimes don’t order what I want, if I’m eating out (case in point: last week I treated myself to coffee and a cake for breakfast, and ended up ordering the cake I didn’t want. Where, I ask you, is the sense in that?!).  I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be connected to some sort of fear or doubt about Who I Really Am etc, coupled with a misplaced fear of being selfish – which, of course, I am, in ways that are not mitigated by my choosing a blueberry muffin over a Chelsea bun. Today I won a small victory against this weird form of personal sabotage, and bought myself a beautiful mandala for my bedroom wall.
 

Ack, I've been tagged to list the things that have made me happy just when I'm at my most grumpy!  I'm also too washed-up/braindead to think about anything that happened more than 10 hours ago...

*deep breath*

ok, here goes...

1. drinking a cup of tea (we finally have mugs/teabags/a kettle!) in my new bed, in my new bedding, in my new flat.
2. discovering possibly *the best* bookshop in the world a few minutes from my flat (that one will be *very* dangerous...).
3. making torrijas (a spanish treat) for lunch out of our leftover bread.
4. buying tasy goods from the market on Electric Avenue - just the sign makes me smile, and the discovery that they sell goat's meat was priceless!  I also had a big bunch of parsely thrown in free, which is now sitting in a mug of water, making the kitchen look like more of a kitchen.
5. the letting agent's lovely jack russell puppy, Meg, who came over to play with me while C was signing all the papers he'd missed on Friday.
6. our resident pigeon, Humbert (yes, he is named after a notorious literary paedophile, but the name just stuck).  I know he's flying vermin, but I like him.

now, back to being a miserable sod (I do it so well).  I'll find some people to tag another day...

Questions from blur_kiwi - I would do the same, and ask 5 questions to anyone who comments, but I don't think anybody will, so this is an exercise in pure narcissism...

Ants are strange creatures.
I remember coming across a huge anthill on a hike through the Altiplano in Murcia last Easter.  C pointed them out to me, saying "oh my god, look" at the huge numbers of them moving all over the place - and a few seconds later, "OH MY GOD, LOOK!  GET THEM OFF ME GET THEM OFF ME" ...and, well, you can guess what happened.  The strangest thing, though, is that when you're just a few steps outside their 'territory', they just... disappear.  It's as if something in their little ant brains flashes:  "ABORT!  ABORT!" and they drop off in their hundreds.

I put my quartz crystals out in the full moon last night.  I don't know why, exactly; I'm not a very crystally person (I think it's the word 'crystal' that puts me off) - but the moon last night was incredibly strong, and the quartz pieces were literally glowing in the light.  When I went back to pick them up, one of them was sticky, in a snail-victim sort of way; it also had an ant crawling on it, but before I could take a closer look it just dropped off.  I wonder what an ant would have wanted with my quartz.  I'm quite attached to these three pieces - they're the ones I picked up at the medieval market in Alicante, and they're so clear they look like lumps of ice.

In other randomness...  Now that I'm Of No Fixed Abode, and my head is bunged up to the point I can't smell anything, I've started to look around for new perfumes to try.  Smart.  Still, a year or more into my dabbling with perfume oils and I feel as clueless as ever.  I've yet to find a BPAL oil that is really 'me' (apart from Samhain - but I can't wear that every day); my foray into the world of Madini was a bit of a disaster (much as I love the romance of the desert, I don't really want to smell like a camel); Attar Bazaar oils are interesting from an "ooh, so that's what Myrrh smells like" perspective, but otherwise a bit blah...  I need to broaden my horizons.  Nocturne Alchemy looks promising - I used to have a bit of a thing for Egyptian myth when I was little after seeing the Egypt room at the BM, but Egypt hasn't really figured much in my adult life.
Two new additions to my ever-expanding wishlist:
Hatshepsut: A refreshing floral blend enhanced with the spices of nutmeg, clove and allspice.
Queen Nefertiti:  Orange blossom blooming with the essence of Egyptian musk subtle still the White amber of the day and the soft dark amber of night mingling together baring witness to those outside of the city this delicate scent is dangerously intoxicating.